YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
