i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
