i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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