Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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