There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
