from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
