Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
