I just threw up on my dentist
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
