Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Dicks are not precious.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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