Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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