I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
You need Xanax blowdarts
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
