this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You may now shotgun with the bride
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
