Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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