tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
