We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
