he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
