If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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