just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
