I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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