Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
