I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize