Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
