im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
