You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
