Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize