I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
