The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
