hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
