some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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