It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
There was a lot of him and a little penis
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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