Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
