Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Randomize