Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
