just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
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You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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