Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
