Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
