why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
