Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
