first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
you didnt know i had herpes?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
