Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
