break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
you would pick up someone in the library
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
