Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
