Your tits are I can't wait for
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
