u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
