My cat gives me a boner
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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