google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
can u get pink eye on your cock?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize