Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
