he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
