so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
