Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
