I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize