Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
