i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
