It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
