Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
