You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
