Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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