hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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